Following God's Lead...but didn't I have a plan for that?

Is anyone else out there an over-thinker?

Let me back up...I am a home body. I hate to leave home, especially when I finally get home after a long day. Even as a child, I didn't enjoy staying at a friend's house for more than one night and never slept well away from home--just ask Debbie: I'd stay up late and still be up by the crack of dawn--how frustrating! But I digress...

There's always so much that needs to be done, daily, at home. Finding time for extras is always a challenge. Tell me this isn't a common-mom-problem. We spend so much time running kids around to different events, taking care of the home, volunteering at school, finding time to work...Yet it has been on my heart, more and more, that we sisters need prayer and need to make the time to pray together, believing and seeking, sharing and encouraging.

So, I would think about it, then get busy and forget about it for awhile. Then I actually mentioned it, out loud, to my sister-in-law and found that she was feeling the same way. We are sisters, friends and sisters-in-law, but we never seem to have time to sit and share, much less pray, together. We both agreed it was a good idea but hadn't heard of one we could attend and kind of left it hanging. One or the other of us would remind the other and we'd say we really should just start one, then. And so it went for a few months, until we finally said something like, "Urgh! Just pick a day, already, and we'll just DO IT!"

We've met for four weeks, so far. It has been a blessing and encouragement every time. Twice, it has just been Tammy and me...but even then, we have a reason to meet--it's so great to set aside all the other conversations we could be having and focus on the Lord. "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." (Matthew 18:20) Our kids and other people's kids are often in the house but (mostly) not a distraction to our goal.

Now we come to the part where I am learning and growing...remember the beginning where I asked for over-thinkers? Remember my first entry where I admitted to seeing all the options and possibilities? Ugh. Perhaps it's also the teacher within me, but I felt the need for planning what would happen at these meetings. You don't walk into a classroom of 20 students without an idea of what to do. I'm not saying, at all, that I felt like a "teacher" for these prayer meetings. But I wanted it to be a blessing and time of growth and set about making sure I did everything I could to start that ball rolling. I asked my husband what the brothers do at their prayer meetings. I set about seeking the Word for something to share. I made a mental agenda, "Okay, first we'll share; then we'll pray; then we'll have snacks." (This is LW, after all, snacks are a given, right?) We had agreed it would have to be relatively short because we get up early and it's a weeknight.

Each time, I've had a little agenda in my head and each time, guess what? That is NOT how it goes. In each tangent, though, there is life. If this were my classroom, I might jump in and drag things back to the direction I was going. But these are my sisters and this is God's time. I'm just thankful for the fact that each and every time we meet, God's Spirit meets me and I am encouraged and strengthened. So I am realizing that it's not all about the little plans that I make--if I am surrendering to the Lord, I need to even surrender the need to plan.

This is not an easy thing for me to do. Jeff will tell you how often we would leave the house much later than he envisioned because I had to plan for every contingency: diapers, changes of clothes, snacks, blankets, what about a snack?, did we bring the sink?, and so it went... When we would have "disagreements" it would drive him nuts that I would pause before responding. I take a long time to think of what to say, before I speak. (That's a whole different lesson I learned. Sorry again, Bro Richards, for being so mouthy in science class.) But my husband is a very quick thinker and decision-maker, so he would think I was ignoring him. Made for great conversations about HOW we talk, before even dealing with the matter at hand. Anyway, the over-thinker and planner in me is slowly realizing it's, " 'not by might, nor by power, but by MY SPIRIT,' saith the Lord of Hosts." (Zechariah 4:6)

It's hard to let go of what we envision and plan, isn't it? Yet each time we meet, some sister shares something that helps us all, shares a scripture that encourages us, shares a new need we can agree in prayer about. If we had done everything according to the thoughts and plans in my head, would those have happened? Would the Lord be having His way? I don't know for sure, but I do know that I am learning to let go and it is such a blessing. 1 Thessalonians 5:18-19 says, "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit." (NLT version) Thank you for coming, sharing and praying--I'm thankful for all of you!
Praise His Holy Name!